


Ezra Bridger v. Feelings

by dreamchasers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bisexual Ezra Bridger, Crushes, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, One-Sided Attraction, Rebellion Era (Star Wars), Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29125431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamchasers/pseuds/dreamchasers
Summary: Ezra Bridger is good at a lot of things, but controlling his emotions isn’t one of them. Ezra has an embarrassing habit of forming crushes on almost everyone he meets. Some work out, but most don’t.Or Ezra’s attempts to find happiness in others and the lessons he learns along the way.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Ahsoka Tano, Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger/Jai Kell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Sabine Wren

**Author's Note:**

> hi so im currently just thinking about how ezra deserves all the love in the world and i feel like he just has so many feelings that are all over the place so yeah :)

Ezra Bridger is 14 when he meets the coolest person ever, mainly because she helped him steal a crate. She has painted armor and as soon as Ezra drives off, he hopes he can see her again. 

His wish comes true. Sabine Wren is intense, keeps to herself and always focused on her art. But every time Ezra is able to hear her laugh, he’s a goner. He stutters and blushes when she says his name. 

So he figures flirting is the best way to go about the situation. 

“Hey Sabine,” Ezra grins, leaning against a counter.

Sabine nods at him, not looking away from her food.

“Are you gravity?”

“What?” she asks, looking up.

“Because I’m being pulled to you,” Ezra finishes with a wink.

Sabine just stares at the boy in silence for almost a minute.

“Ezra you know that’s not how gravity works right?” she asks gently.

“No, I just found that on the Holonet. I thought it sounded cool,” Ezra replies, the confidence having slipped away as he stares down at the floor.

Sabine sighs lightly and stands up to be next to Ezra.

“Listen kid, your crush on me is cute. It’s honestly really flattering, but I need you to know I don’t feel the same. And I never will.”

“Way to let me down easy. Am I that awful?” Ezra asks, looking up at Sabine with glassy eyes.

“No no that’s not what I meant. You’re amazing Ezra and anyone would be so lucky to be with you. But that someone should be attracted to guys. I’m not that person,” Sabine says.

“Oh,” is all Ezra says before slumping down onto the floor.

“Are you okay?” Sabine asks hesitantly, worrying about his reaction.

“Better than I was when I thought you hated me. More just processing, I thought everyone else on the ship was straight,” Ezra laughs.

“Everyone else?” Sabine questions, sliding down onto the floor with him. “Ezra you’re the only straight person on this ship.”

Ezra’s eyes go wide and he suddenly looks completely disgusted. Sabine is preparing for the worst.

“You think I’m straight?” Ezra practically screams, the terror evident in his voice.

“We all did,” Sabine laughs, letting out a breath she was inadvertently holding. “You just seem like a straight Lothal boy, ya’ know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Ezra snickers. “I thought it was obvious, everyone else on the streets knew I’m bi.”

Sabine playfully punches Ezra on the shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“You freaked me out! I thought you were homophobic,” Sabine replies.

“Oh. I’m sorry Sabine,” Ezra says.

Sabine just chuckles and messes up Ezra’s hair. She starts walking toward the rooms, but she has mischief in her eyes. 

“Where are you going?” Ezra ask.

“I got inspired!” Sabine replies, heading into her own room.

When Ezra goes into his room after Jedi training, he sees a painting on his wall. A picture of him and Sabine, with the bisexual flag colors behind him and lesbian flag colors behind her. Ezra thinks it’s perfect.


	2. Jai Kell (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emotional hazard ezra bridger accidentally catches feelings for an imperial cadet

Ezra is undercover the next time it happens. The Imperial Academy at Lothal was supposed to be a standard operation, get in and get out. He’s there for three weeks.

Ezra, under the alias of Dev Morgan, finishes first in the first day’s trial. Right behind him is Jai Kell. Jai opens his helmet and Ezra falls right there. Figuratively, although he does almost trip and fall back into the Well when Jai smiles at him.

Dev and Jai become quick friends, bonding over foods and the desire to get off Lothal and see the galaxy. 

They spend every moment not spent training together, talking about anything and everything.

One night, Ezra has a nightmare. He wakes up in a cold sweat, panting. He doesn’t remember anything from the nightmare other than a red light and a cold feeling. He tries to meditate like Kanan showed him, but he feels like he can’t slow his breath.

“Dev?” Jai asks, sounding groggy in the bunk below Ezra’s.

“Sorry,” Ezra whispers. “Bad dream.”

It’s quiet for a bit, then sheets start moving and the small ladder is being climbed. Jai’s head appears not far from Ezra’s, a grin on his face.

“Come with me,” Jai says, his smile unrelenting.

“Come where?” Ezra asks, his breath beginning to slow.

“Trust me” is all Jai says before climbing back down the ladder and leaving the cadet’s rooms. Ezra sighs but quickly follows the other boy put of the room.

Once Ezra is out of the room, Jai grabs his hand and begins to lead him through all the hallways. Ezra can’t focus on anything except for his hand in Jai’s. They sneak through, constantly glancing to avoid patrols. The two eventually stop in front of a vent when Jai turns to grin at Ezra.

“You’re not claustrophobic right?”

Ezra holds back a laugh, remembering that he has to stay quiet. 

“Trust me, vents are my best friend,” Ezra replies with a smirk, quietly opening the vent and placing the vent cover on the floor.

“Follow me,” Jai says, entering the vent.

Ezra hopes Jai can’t hear how loud his heart is beating. He takes a breath and follows the other boy into the vent, putting the vent cover back on behind him. 

After some crawling and muffled laughter, the duo make it to the roof of the building. Jai gets out first, reaching his hand out for Ezra to grab once he is steady. Ezra grabs his hand, the blush on his face thankfully covered by the darkness. 

Once both boys are on the roof, they feel much lighter than they have in a long time. The stars shine as brightly as they can with the harsh city lights for competition, but they’re still beautiful nonetheless.

The two sit down at the edge of the roof, feet dangling and heads in the stars.

“I can’t wait to see everything else out there,” Jai says, breaking the silence. “Lothal is great but there’s so many great things in the galaxy.”

“What if the Empire sends you somewhere like Tatooine?” Ezra asks with a laugh.

“Then I desert,” Jai jokes, but Ezra can sense the truth in his words.

Ezra just smiles at Jai, turning back to the stars. He sees some constellations that he knows like the Loth Wolf. They’re there for what feels like hours before the silence is broken.

“Dev?” Jai whispers, nervousness suffocating him in the Force. 

Ezra turns to look at Jai, who is staring at Ezra with a look he can’t seem to place.

Jai scoots closer to Ezra and puts a hand on his face, eventually going to his hair. Ezra is completely still, unable to do anything but stare at Jai.

“Can I kiss you?” Jai asks.

Ezra knows he should say no. Jai is an Imperial cadet and he is a Rebel spy. Jai doesn’t even know who Ezra really is. But he doesn’t care. 

“Please.”

Jai leans in to kiss Ezra, and Ezra leans in as well. Unfortunately, the two boys crash their noses into each other causing them both to pull away and grab onto their noses. Despite the pain, the two look at each other and laugh.

“We should head back to the dorms,” Ezra says quietly, not wanting to go back.

It hurts Ezra so much to push Jai off the repulsorlift platform, but he has a mission that doesn’t include kissing Jai Kell under the stars. 

So when he manages to escape with the Spectres and Jai Kell, he’s so happy he can’t contain himself.

Ezra turns to Jai in the seat next to him. “Can I?” he asks.

“Don’t fuck it up this time Dev,” Jai jokes, leaning in to kiss Ezra.

“Ezra. My name is Ezra Bridger,” he says with a grin, the weight on his chest finally disappearing as he goes to meet Jai. 

This time, it works out. It’s a simple, sweet kiss that lasts maybe three seconds that Ezra thinks is perfect. He knows his lips are chapped but Jai’s are so soft and all he can think about is Jai before he pulls away.

The two are in a dream world until they realize Sabine and Zeb are laughing at them. But they can’t bring themselves to care, holding hands in the back of the landspeeder they escaped on.

They make it onto the Ghost, picking up Jai’s mother along the way to take them somewhere safe, away from the Empire. Jai’s mother is with Hera in the cockpit, while the two boys sit together in the Ghost’s lounge. 

After a while, they feel the ship start to slowly descend. 

“I’m going to miss you Ezra,” is all Jai says, knowing he won’t be able to keep up with the life of rebellion that the other boy lives.

Ezra grabs the other boy’s hand and squeezes it, looking up at Jai with a sad smile on his face.

“I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

Once the Ghost lands, Jai Kell and his mother begin to gather their things and leave. Jai turns back to look at Ezra and grins, before walking away to his new life.

“Are you okay Ezra?” Hera asks, watching the mother and son leave. “Zeb told me about what happened when you escaped.”

“I’ll be fine,” Ezra replies, turning around to go to his room.


	3. Ahsoka Tano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING for brief discussion of predatory adults.
> 
> this is NOT at all a ship just a look into ezra and ahsoka friendship while also projecting my tendency to develop crushes on older people who are nice to me. so basically ezra has a juvenile crush on ahsoka but it is 100% unrequited

Ahsoka Tano is a force to be reckoned with, and it feels like the Force itself sings around her. So Ezra isn’t sure if he is attracted to her or if the Force is simply pulling everything to her like a magnet.

And Ezra isn’t ignorant, he knows Ahsoka is even older than Kanan and that the relationship they have is extremely platonic. He just can’t help but blush any time Ahsoka compliments his lightsaber technique or when he does well in using the Force.

Ahsoka knows how Ezra feels, he’s talented in the Force but is unable to keep his emotions guarded as the puppy love he feels radiates him. She understands it, it’s the idolization she felt as a Padawan to people like Master Luminara. 

One day when the two are sparring, Ezra makes an attack from above that Ahsoka quickly blocks. Ezra dives down to attack her legs, but she quickly jumps and spins over him. In the spin, Ahsoka loosens her grip on one practice saber and Ezra lunges to knock it out of her hand.

Ezra grins, incredibly proud of himself for managing to partially disarm her.

“Don’t look too smug Ezra, I still have another saber,” Ahsoka says with a smile.

“For now,” Ezra replies, walking around Ahsoka. 

Ahsoka sees an opening while he moves, and quickly takes it. She jumps over him, poking him on the back with her practice saber.

“I win.” 

“I’m just glad I lasted as long as I did,” Ezra laughs, turning around to look at Ahsoka. “It’s amazing, it’s like you’re one with the Force. You’re amazing.”

Ezra has stars in his eyes as he speaks, the Force is singing so loudly and he knows it’s for Ashoka.

“Ezra,” Ahsoka starts carefully. “You’re a really sweet kid-“

“I know. I’m way too young and I’m really glad you don’t feel the same about me because that would be pretty gross. You’re just so awesome and its like the Force is in love with you and just draws everyone around you in as well,” Ezra rambles. “Besides one of the first things I learned on the streets was that if an adult feels that way about you or acts gross, you fucking run.”

Ahsoka lets out a breath of relief, having been able to avoid the awkward conversation about how adults can be predatory like the one she had with Anakin. But she feels like her heart is being squeezed hearing that Ezra was made aware at this at such a young age and that he learned this on the streets, alone.

“How old were you?” Ahsoka asks. “When you started living on the streets.”

“I was seven. The Empire took my parents and no one else would take me in. Some of the older street kids helped me out for a while and helped me survive, but they all got old and joined the Empire and moved to places like Tarkintown. They all left me eventually,” Ezra answers, sitting down on a rock. His elbows are on his knees and his hands in his face.

“I was a bit older than you are now when it happened to me. I was expelled from the Jedi Order, framed for something I didn’t do,” Ahsoka starts, sitting down next to Ezra. “I was on trial for crimes against the Republic and Tarkin wanted to put me to death. Anakin fought for me though, he found the person who framed me and I was able to live. The Jedi Council eventually asked me to come back, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t come back after what they did. So I was on my own in Coruscant.”

Ezra removes one hand from his face, turning to look at Ahsoka while she speaks. The Force is practically playing a funeral march, the music surrounding Ahsoka incredibly somber.

“I’m obviously not trying to compare my situation to yours,” Ahsoka continues. “I was at least old enough where I was almost an adult. I can’t imagine how traumatic that’d be for a child.”

Ezra wants to say nothing, to nod his head and walk away. To avoid the sensitive topics that haunt him. 

“It was awful,” he whisper. He feels like he will choke on his own voice if he speaks any louder. “I try not to think about it. I have a family again on the Ghost and they’re amazing. I have even more people in the Rebellion, like you and R2. And I know we’ve all lost so much or even everything to the Empire, but sometimes I feel so angry with how much I’ve lost to be here.”

The anger surrounding him reminds Ahsoka so much of how Anakin felt in the Force that she almost cries. No, not almost. She feels a tear slip out.

“Anakin thought like that a lot too, he lost so much and it made him so angry. But you’ve seen what that anger can turn into, like the Sith lord. It’s okay to be angry sometimes, but you have to learn to let it go as soon as it comes,” Ahsoka says.

“How?” he asks, his eyes glassy.

“When you start to get towards that train of thought, start meditating. Breathe in and out. Breathe in all the hurt and anger and whatever is upsetting you. Hold it. Then breathe it all out into the Force,” Ahsoka explains. “That’s always how Obi-Wan told me to do it.”

Ezra begins breathing. Slowly breathes in. Holds it. Breathes it back out. And so on. After a few moments free of noise besides Ezra breathing and a slight breeze.

“Thank you Ahsoka,” Ezra says, breaking the silence.

“What are friends and former Jedi instructors of the Force for?” Ahsoka jokes, standing up and ruffling Ezra’s hair. “Whenever we’re in the same place, don’t hesitate to come to me for help.”

Ahsoka walks off towards the Ghost, docked a bit less than a mile away. Ezra smiles, and continues breathing. Breathing in his crush on Ahsoka, holding it, and breathing it out.


End file.
